selfish side of me

God showed me i could be so selfish at the wrong time.

yesterday woke up early cuz i was to go to tay's house with jo & kev
but due to something i ate during the night before, i had diarrhea and gastric flu

so i ate some charcoal pills and decided to rest for awhile before going
bathed and just sat down by the com.

suddenly chi rang me
she was sick.. very...
and she was breathless
after breakfast and putting on the lotion her chest became very tight and she was scared.
i told her i'll get to her back and called my mum and asked her what could be the issue (my mum is a nurse btw)
she asked me to tell her to go back to the clinic...
i called her back and she was getting worst..
she was crying
so i asked if she needed me to come over and bring her there..
she said yeah cuz she was home alone and no one is taking care of her..

ok..
i was quite hesitant.. i tried to justify myself into finding others for help..
i wanted to see if there was another way.
i have no cash
she stays very far (yck)
she is down with chicken pox, which i've not had it yet
my stomach was having a crisis of its own.. - -
~
i asked roy on what should i do..
he said the thing i expected to hear.... just go.
haha.. seemed like no other way
she was scared and i was quite worried.. she was having difficulty breathing and yet here i am procrastinating to help o_O

i took a cab down (i have sources :p)
called her on the way just to check up on her
she told me her landlord called for the ambulance already and asked if i could accompany her.
assured her i would :)

on the journey i reflected on my actions and i repented..
i was reminded of alan tea's story of his friend.. how his friend was so commited to him.
and yes.. commitment is crucial.
God was moving me out to another level of commitment to my peers.
i was also reminded of whati learnt in the seminar..
self-sacrificial love... not self-protecting love.
i want to take this opportunity to draw chi nearer to God too.. just as God is commited to me, i'll be to her. (we're classmates, don't get the wrong idea!)

reached her place and waited for the ambulance to come
she brought me into her place but asked me to stay outside her room for fear of spreading it to me
the paramedics soon arrive and took her into the ambulance.. did some checkup and questioning..
she was so scared... poor her...
it feels really sucky to be sick and alone.. (her family is in vietnam, she's alone most of the time in the rented place, the landlord's family dare not be in close contact to her for fear of infection.)

soon arrived and passed her on to the doctors
gave her some panadol to ease the pain and let her rest first
called up ryan but he was busy (to our disappointment)
called up mother aka. jee ping and told her about the situation and that chi is quite ok
she told me that some of the office people would want to come and see her because of some issues of her student pass and see if she really is unable to apply for it yet.
mother was coming along too :)

the doctor took her in for x-ray
another doctor came and put her on drips (ouch) because she was dehydrated

mother arrived with one of the international office lady~
the ironic thing was that NONE of us had chicken pox before.. hahaha
we were at a high risk of contracting it from her or so the doctor warned us :p

had a great time catching up together :D
chi finally managed to get some sleep (she couldn't sleep well due to the itchiness)
talk and talk with mother all day hahaha
i miss her. (my fav lecturer)
talked about some students in sch
told her about weirdy's case which she wasn't really surprised haha.. but yeah at least now its a fact.
she asked me about the silly rumour about weirdy and me being together... -_-u
NOT TRUEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AARRRGGHH!!!
stupid rumours.... stupid stupid
she kept teasing non-stop... -_-
btw mother is a very playful lecturer (which explains why she's teaching in animation)
talked alot about sch.. the new batch and blah..
she very poor thing man...
1 teacher teach 60 students!!
seriously understaff.. :(
told her i'll go back to sch to help her if needed

chi woke up and the doc soon came to checkup on her again.
said she wouldn't need to be admitted thankfully :)
i guess it was probably due to the medicines she was prescribed by the previous doctor...
when she told him the medicines she was prescribed the doc was kinda surprised o_O

anyways it was a loooong wait at the A&E.. waited about 3hrs? but kinda worth it ;)
we got her medicines and intructions... paid for her medical fee and her medicines which were ALOOOOTT!!!! but the price was surprisingly cheap...make a guess
she had about 7 different medications to take..
2 bottles, 1 for mouth and 1 for skin
2 meds for fever and painkiller and flu
2 meds for itchiness
1 med for chicken pox (50 tablets btw)
all that.... for 45cents.

we were.... "huh?"
LOL
i think it was included in the medical fee which was about $70+ >_<

anyways... after we settled everything jeeping and the other lady (sorry i forgot her name >_<) left for sch
while i sent chi home...

again i was a lil hesitant...
we were at tan tock seng.. and i could walk home from here... i was tired and hungry
i called ryan askin if he wanted to comedown and send her home but he was still busy
i was hoping she said she could go home herself (like the previous time when i brought her to the clinic)
....haha... -_-u stupid selfishness..
yeah.... i was then reminded of commitment.
God really want me to move out of my comfort zone and be more pro-active.
all righty....
went back to her home
she was much better thankfully :)

went home.... and MAKAN!!!!
and slept :p

thank God for the day and lesson.
Commitment.
how committed are you?

commitment and selfishness don't go along