dry season

its been a dry spell
spiritually & physically..

don't you just hate it when you finally decided to step up.. change and plan to do something.... the devil pushes and pulls you back down..
laziness...
procrastination aka.dit syndrome
other temptations (for me personally.. games >_<)

and it sucks the life outta you.....again.
i'm so dead dry now..
and i've come to see how david was when he said
"I long for you in a dry & weary land."

i'm lost, tired, weary, dry.
deadly huh..

but God is faithful.

He will deliver me
and I belive i'm learning something out of this dry season.
i will trust in You.
definitely.
like how you protected me through the storm. (literally)

I want You O king
fill me once more with Your strength
guide me with Your voice
fill my cup
and let it flow outwards
i want Your love
i want Your care
i want You.
i want to soar again.

i will trust in Your words.
"Seek me with all your heart and you will find me."

i will find You.


last cg
God spoke something which made me ponder.
"I love you, why are you running?"
i've been doing so.
drifting....drifting...

i've developed a "shield" whenever i hear that voice..
and when i do, i ignore thinkin that its myself speaking to me.
i've learnt to imagine who God is over this pass years
i've learnt to imagine and picture what He would do and say to me
and being a visual person... its overwhelming..
i've come to a point that it's not by faith but imagination and picture.
its one thing to picture something by faith
but its another to picture something just because it seems like it.

imagining helps. but don't let it take over your whole view of who God is.
let the word shape your imagination.

i wanna learn to say that "I know you will do this" instead of "i can imagine you will do this"
God is not a God of formula.
how'd one know that?
its in the word ;)

He never works the same way.
He loves rescuing, healing, helping people, but know that he doesn't do it the same way twice.

another area of my life i'm running away... is my calling.
for those who've watched Final Fantasy VII: Advent children
who can identify with cloud?

i can.

i've been running away... drifting and drifting.
there has been this doubt in me telling me i don't have what it takes in this line.
its a fear.
and that i'm better off alone..
people won't notice if i'm gone.
i'd rather let someone else do it cuz i have a fear that i can't achieve it.

thats my fear and it has kept me down.
and when the time comes.. i'd run.


but hey..
God reminded me.. that He created one me.
no one else is similar to me besides.. well me.
and that no one else can take my place the story of my life He has written.
No one.
even in your story.
no one else can replace you.

and thats my encouragement.
wake up O sluggard.
time to move.

You've reminded me of that crazy decision i made to take this path
the dream You gave me was enough.
i left drama and went fully into animation even though my drawing is not up the standard. really
but You are faithful.
You never failed me.

just by drawing a simple sunflower, i was the top of the class for my first animation. many people drew much better and i'd chose theirs as top.
i didn't even take foundation studies for visual arts
my foundation studies in lasalle? theatre.
i was a nobody.

my animation was a simple story of perseverance, inspired from You, to help people.
i'm not boasting, its really nothing much at all. my class was equally shocked as i was.
It is definitely Your work. Thank You.
not by my hands but by Yours.
i hope this story inspired you readers :)


drawing skills can easily be improved.
it takes constant practise. :)

my confidence..... is You.

i want to see the vision You have for me.
the path You have laid out for me.
the call.



btw on sat morning while i was lying on bed
i saw out my window in the sky..
a halo shaped cloud!

.

first reaction was to think of.. "wah which plane did that..?"
not long later i got a call from jo
"Ay jus! did you see the sky?"
"ya, the halo shaped cloud right?"
"yaa!! its NICEE~!"
his first impression/reaction ?
"wow..... God's creation"

that answer hit me.

don't you just hate it when rationality robs you?
i do.

i wanna be simple again.