life so far

a show which left me with mixed feelings
but none the less a beautiful one.

after some constant naggings from livi
i decided to give this show a try
i can't say if i regretted it
nor could i say i didn't..

it brings back of memories
good and bad
but i must admit
its a very honest show.
probably that was why i was a little uneasy..
many twists in the show but i love it
because it stands strong despite what i'd wish it do
i'm sure certain audience would also want things to work out
but it didn't.

i could relate to the characters.
they seem almost real..
a great cast!
animation!
i believe this show is only possible through anime
many factors which i can't explain..
sure there's a movie which is also good
i've always wanted to do a manga/animation abt mine
and this show encourages me to do so.

when i was schooling, i've always wanted to make
a show that didn't have a happy ending.
my teacher told me that it'd be very hard..
in fact nearly impossbile in america.
and here i have a show that proved it.
its not an ending that i'd call it happy
not everything was resolved like all other drama/romance anime
and thats realistic.

its about life.
but further more, its about ur friends.

if a show can invoke so many feelings at once, its a success
especially when it invokes the feelings it wants u to have.
this show did

it really made me miss school so badly!!
(its about art students in an art college)
argh!!
i decided to hunt for my future uni yesterday..
many places but still deciding..

why do i want to study?
just for the creative environment?
am i being selfish?
should i work?

i need further directions from God.
i know i'm heading to the arts..
but which area?
i need to improve real badly.

k enough of my ramblings of an Oooo so pain but good anime :p

camp life is getting better.
my boss decided to start each day with sharing of the word and prayer!
hallelujah!
it'll help me loads too. to discipline myself.

last friday God made me realise
i was such a sinner.. really.
out of fear i did many wrong things
i'm a compulsive liar.
i knew about it but didn't dare admit
i exagerate truths
thank God for my boss for discerning

and i went through a grilling session.

i was scolded

and i teared.

right there and then,

on the phone.

people told me that he(my boss) could scold
people till they cried
i told myself that i could take it
after all i've always take things with a smile

but here, i started to choke on my tears.

my boss asked if i was crying

i said no.

but he got the message.

i was greatful for the "rebuking".

i went to the toilet and let it out..

i cried that day, not because of his scolding.

but because i failed and disappointed God and my boss.

it was a simple thing but i didn't do it, i couldn't explain.

but the root of it was fear.

what was there to be fearful of?

the session ended with that encouragement from him.

i asked God that day, to give me this god sorrow.