at war

wow!

today my boss was sharing a testimony about humility
and i believed God also wanted to speak to me about it.

i shared with him about it
and he was convicted that God wanted to say something to me

he shared about what happened to him during a period of time
which also sounded similar to me
-arrogant (in a sense that is refusal to look for help)
-stressed at work
-lost passion in the things i loved to do
-confused at what to pursue

and he was at that point in time, ready to give up
God intervened
sending him, someone whom he doesn't really know
and that person told him that while he was driving
God had something to tell my boss
God has specially put him where he was, don't worry.

my boss wept after that.
it was definitely God.

the thought of being placed specially by God is indeed
something to be greatful of

and he continued to share,
often our joy in God is the target by the devil
he wants to rob us of our joy
and when we don't have the joy in serving
we give up
ultimately, falling into the devil's trap.

when we're high up on mountains, we sing and shout praises
but do we still do so when we're down at the deepest and darkest valleys?

he ended with an encouragement i used to hold on to but forgot over the years;
the devil doesn't bother about people who aren't spiritual aka harmless
he targets those who he deems as threats
and he's targetting me, because he's afraid of what God can do through me.
this means war.

all these while i've been thinkin that God has taken away my passion
slowly and slowly
painfully
and it's an issue i need to grow more in,
reliance in Him and not self-reliance.

God didn't take it away, He allowed it, thats it.
and i've to claim it back!
it's been lost due to circumstances
but it's not dead.. dormant but not dead.

i was sharing to jo the other night
passion will burn out eventually
what follows next is commitment.
and thats very true to me now,
my passion is "burnt" and i'm already ready to jump ship!
that showed how deep my commitment was

i'm still learning as i'm journeying
i can't say it's been easy
but it sure is something~! :)

renew the fire in me for You God.
You should be my no.1 passion!
help me fight back for my heart.
You're my victory

i'm being open about this because i know of people who are going through this
and if by reading this they're encouraged and ministered by God, i'm glad :)