personally

today as i was walkin to nexus and doin some reflections,
this thing hit me really hard,
what & where do i derive my sense of identity and worth?

is it by the level of my works that i do?
is it my ability to do what i do?
is it the jokes i tell?

an example would be,
when i hang out with my 2 close friends from sec school,
durin the good ol' days, i was the joker among them, they'd always laugh and laugh and i enjoyed sharing and making fun, but now, getting busy and less meet ups, i can't joke with them or make them laugh as much, in fact there's another person who did so much better, i became more quiet in the end. i got 'replaced'.
is that who i am?
a comedian?
i like making people laugh and smile
but that shouldn't mean that if they don't then i'm useless.

why am i doing it?
to secure my significance?

it might just be that subconciously.

i thank God for revealing this :)
to think deeper into why i do the things i do.
i realised sometimes i can be just so decieving to myself




God loves, no matter what.