woah...aaaaaaaaaaa

whew... . . . so tired..
so sleepy.... and... so stressed....
aaaargh~~
i haven't done my major yet today!!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaa
.... -_-
today... . . . . . was in sch the whole day..
MI took up the entire day... and documentary for the nite.. and also voice recording.. :(

bz all day..
then in class... ppl quarreled in class..
just for the chalet...
saying that rudie nevr told us anything much abt the chalet and he paid for it...
ppl got angry and all...
thank God i came in later.... =p
really..
i dun really like it when this things happen.. cuz i'll also get affected by it..
i dun think it was ever really the money problem..
its just some personal problem between each and everyone to him...
its sad...
when you don't like a person.. cuz of the surroundings.. and all.. and you don't trust him...
______________________________________________

talked to her today... she shared abt her life so far..
she's so stressed up...
just wanna talk to her...spend some time together...

everytime i try to share to her... theres always distractions.. hahaha...
i juz can't get to share to her.. hahaha

she said i'm nice... the perfect guy... ARGH~!
i dun like that word!
cuz i am so NOT perfect!!!!!
i've been stererotyped... :p
i'm not like that..
ppl may think i'm boring or what but yah... hahaha...
i've been stereotyped~ Aaaaargh~
i'm not just a nice guy! :(
theres so much more to me than just ... a nice guy... >_<
hahaha...
i was sharing halfway to her... i told chi
that everyone prefers more output than input... its kind of true.. :)
so do i...
but... i just don't get the chance to..
i was thinking just now.. on the way home...
i longed for someone... to share my life with...
i'm not an output dump where ppl can just throw all at me... i'm a human too... and i haf to output too...

ppl like to share to me cuz i like to listen to them.. i like to help them... be there for them.. talk to them..
and.. for me...
i long for someone who will like to simply.. listen to me.. hahaha... ya.. but i realized...
i'm very dependant on ppl.. that i get disappointed..
i depend on ppl to listen to me... to talk to me... etc..
and i shouldn't do that...
Men Will surely fail... but God never does :)

wanna be independant.. but depend on God.
of cuz that doesn't i'll isolate myself.
wanna get myself right with God...
haven't been spending time with him...
work work work ...
kinda looking forward to NS... hahaha
i need that 3 yrs to be apart from everything... to get things right with God.. and myself..
:)

when she told me she was like that this morning...the note i got from her...
i wanted to call her this morning...
but then.. haha.. i thought she was still sleeping... it was 7am...
but she was awake.. hahaha... she called ferry... and shared to him :)

i want an output....
haha.. i feel that this journal here... is my only output...
but i wanna talk it out with someone~~~!!!
God...

gotta depend on you..

we held hands today...
but yah... its different..
....
might be the last time...?
wanna direct her to God... not men...
i can't always be there to hold her hand either hahaha...
o well...
men will surely fail.. but God never fails men.

was actually.. worried...
after thinking abt the work i haf to do.. by monday...
i'm a lil afraid... that i can't finish... :(
my proposal
my frames
scanning
coloring
asian horror essay by wed.
O_O

God.... . . . . I need You.