untitled

i'm beat.
had a loong day at rehearsal
though i did manage to watch it..
there wasn't any fireworks tonight much to our disappointment :(
been rather busy and stressed
thus it'd probably explain why i've caused some major screw ups..
i seriously don't know what i was thinking -_-
one after another
i've disappointed my boss and myself..

yet it kinds of reflects how i treat God and how He feels towards me
when i screw up..

i prayed to God to keep that feeling of guilt in me whenever i sin

something of which has become quite foreign to me which was probably due
to a heart that has lost it's sensitivity..

encouragements really change everything.
i've learnt that the hard way.

but at the end of it all..

i am thankful for God's grace and mercy for pulling me through.

it's hard to be confident once you've screwed up once too many..
i've become more fearful instead

God, remove this fear.
Help me NOT think too much and worry too much.
take it easy, be myself and not a people pleaser/helper.
to be firm and refuse when the situation arises.
many things to change..
i'm laid bare.


came home to the news that my bro has decided to put my beloved dog to sleep soon.
i can't think anything much now.. tired..
just waiting for it to sink in...
a dear friend of 13 yrs...
my dreaded day is inevitable
and my mind's a blank.


:(